(Too bleak.) (I did watch the semi-romantic-comedy one.) (That’s it, though.) This looks aesthetically rad, goopiness aside, but my editor describes it as “basically a gory Black Mirror episode,” and I find Black Mirror Wikipedia plot summaries to be extra disturbing. Should I finally watch The Fly? Yeah, no.īest Plot-Summary Quote: “Tate instead stabs himself in the skull in an act of rebellion.”įinal Rating: 8.0. Brandon is David Cronenberg’s son, so this is a big whoop, yeah. Leave me out of it (starting now).Įlevated Horror Prestige Potential: 9.2.
Coherence movie stream full#
Okay, full disclosure, I watched a brief clip of this with no actual killing that was nonetheless super, uh, goopy. Reasonably easy to follow given all the people stabbing one another (or themselves) while implanted in other people’s bodies. Premise: A grim sci-fi assassin (Andrea Riseborough) conducts her assassinations by implanting her consciousness into other people’s brains via hella liquid grossness. Movie: Possessor (Brandon Cronenberg, October 2020) Janelle, please do more romantic comedies. Lee statue, thereby breaking her neck.” It’s a metaphor.įinal Rating: 3.0. Huge fan of Monáe as both an actress and a pop star, but this is quite a drop from Moonlight, or even Harriet.īest Plot-Summary Quote: “Veronica knocks Elizabeth off her horse and puts a rope around her neck, dragging her until she hits the base of a Robert E. Various brutal beatings and brandings and burning-alives, though none quite as brutal as this Vulture review.Įlevated Horror Prestige Potential: 2.6. Wait, is the fact that Veronica and Eden are the same person somehow a big revelation? Does she have a different hairstyle or something? Is this one of those movies where the trailer spoils everything? Premise: Janelle Monáe plays Veronica, a renowned modern-day sociologist who is also Eden, a woman enslaved on what appears to be a Civil War–era Louisiana plantation. Movie: Antebellum (Gerard Bush and Christopher Renz, September 2020) Elisabeth, please do more romantic comedies. (IIRC her character got stabbed in the throat, which I did not care for, either.)īest Plot-Summary Quote: “Satisfied, Cecilia departs to use the restroom.”įinal Rating: 6.7. Pretty high given Moss’s involvement, though not as high as when she costarred in Jordan Peele’s Us, which due to its sky-high EHPP I grudgingly watched in the theater, which IMO was very brave. (Related: I watched the first season of The Handmaid’s Tale and did not care for it at all.)Įlevated Horror Prestige Potential: 7.5. Whole lotta throat slitting in this movie, yes, but mostly I’d just be upset at the sight of my beloved Peggy Olson in distress. (“Alone at the house, Cecilia tries various tactics to catch the figure.”) Excellent summary here, clear and direct and spare, if occasionally a little dry. Premise: A woman named Cecilia (Elisabeth Moss) is terrorized by a murderous ex boyfriend who is, frequently, invisible. Movie: The Invisible Man (directed by Leigh Whannell, wide released February 2020)
I would rather not do anything like this ever again. (Isn’t “Elevated Horror” such a bullshit term, though? Certainly we sophisticated horror-movie aficionados can agree on this.) We might get into some spoilers here, which is fine, because you shouldn’t watch shit like this anyway. Utilizing the industry-standard 0-10 Pitchfork scale, I will rate these films-which, to be absolutely clear, I will never watch, because I’ve got enough problems-in such categories as Plot Coherence, Presumed Gnarliness, and “Elevated Horror” Prestige Potential. The Weirdest and Best Wikipedia Wormholes Wikipedia’s Best Worst NBA Photos Are Modern Art The Fight to Win the Pettiest Edit Wars on WikipediaĪnd so now, in honor of Wikipedia’s 20th birthday, I have offered to review some of the (?) best horror movies of 2020 entirely by reading their Wikipedia summaries. (“The scene disturbs the group, but they decide to stay long enough for Josh to finish his thesis.”) (I have the multi-decapitation thing on good authority: “Joan, other coven members, and the headless corpses of his mother and grandmother bow to him.”) I took the same approach to Aster’s next movie, 2019’s Midsommar, which was even gnarlier but also, if I’m reading this right, funnier.
This first came up back in 2018 when I refused to watch Ari Aster’s multi-decapitation trashfest Hereditary. So the deal here is I am a grown-ass man too skittish to watch horror movies but still perversely drawn to the perversity of horror movies, and so I just read plot summaries of horror movies on Wikipedia. Wikipedia went live, gifting the world with a cavern of endless information, both helpful and potentially questionable. Twenty years ago this Friday, January 15, the internet changed forever.
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